Enough is enough and too much gets nasty! November 2, 2011

Okay I don’t think anyone actually reads this so I should be safe writing this. I am having such a hard time not having a baby of my own. I know all good things come to those who can wait but really I am tired of waiting. Right now I know we should be so I am not. We are on a break and I am fine with this. I would be doing a lot better than I am if I had some support. My sister in law has a baby. I am happy for her but she has made me feel awful about not having one. She throws that baby in Robert and mines face. She brings God into it all the time. Yes God gave you a child but He has not not given us one because we are not going to be good parents or anything like that. My mother in law and I do not have a very good relationship. I wish this was different but I am pretty sure it will always be this way. Robert has been drifting from them as well. I truly would not be surprized if a day comes and we only speak on holidays and birthdays. They have told us they want us to wait they waited 5 years to have Robert and I am glad they chose this for them. However I want to be a young mom. My mom was 22 when she had me and was pregnant while she was 21. I am 21 so I am not very young and would be hapy to be like my mom. She says we should wait but she dismisses us and focuses completely on my SIL and her daughter and like never us. She dismissed my husband on his birthday because she was there visiting. they do not realize how this hurt him. Like I said a wedge is being driven between us. I want a kid and yes I am waiting but some support would be nice. I mean you send gifts to them all the time for the baby but what about maybe sending a gift card for date night or some movie tickets. idk it would be nice to feel like because we have chosen to wait we are okay. They say they are not showing favortism but they are. They write on their walls and comment on their pictures all the time. They NEVER write on ours or comment our pictures. They talk to my SIL’s mom but NEVER mine. They have had some nasty things to say about my mom but she never has done anything wrong. If they are mad because we live close to my mom well I am sorry. We did not do it for that reason and she did not do it either. I do see it was God helping me though. I would not make it without my mom the way I have been treated. I love God and I am thankful for the great man God gave me but I have a hard time thanking Him for my in-laws. We are supposed to be going to see them for Christmas but things look like it may not work out with Robert’s work schedule. I am kind of relieved. I would be mistreated and have to hear about this baby way too much. It bothers Robert when he does call to check on them they only talk about the baby. I am happy you are grandparents and you should be however if you know we have lost ours and have none to old currently do not throw it in our faces. Like my mom says enough is enough ad too much gets nasty.

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