What do you do when everything is broken? March 28, 2009

Okay so I have been listening to just different songs right now and I found some of Katy Perry’s older stuff that she performed with a group called the Matrix. I listened to it and the lyrics spoke to me. 

I wear the red shoes
With the holes
To remind me
What we went through
Sit down here
Kick ‘em off enough
Not had enough of you
I tell you
You know
The car you drive
Keeps breaking down
And never starts
Next thing
I’m pulling up to you
We’re in the backseat
Driving it home
No one wants
To be alone

Chorus:
What do you do?
What do you do
When everything
Is broken?
What do you say?
What do you say
When no words
Fit the moment?
‘Cuz you’re not here
And even if you were
All I could say
Is what do I do?
What do I do?
We’re broken
But I can’t
Throw us away

The video
Of our vacation’s
Chewed up in the drawer
Beside me
She thinks I never got
To watch it
I’m so glad
I made a copy
The sky
Got bitter twisted
Just like you and me
I miss it
You snap it
Bend it
Burn it
Then you find
That you can’t fix it
Fall back on whatever
Still remains

(Chorus)

Breaking you in
Breaking your heart
I was taking it all
And I tore you apart
Breaking me in
Breaking my heart
And the damage was done
But I took what you got
We were breakin’ it
Smashin’ it
Takin’ it
Lovin’ it
Hatin’ it
Drivin’ it home
And now I’m all
Now I’m all alone

Oh, yeah (4x)

(Chorus)

What do I do?
We’re broken
But I can’t
Throw us away

Okay so obviously she is talking to a boy of hers. But what hit me was the chorus. What do you do? What do you do when everything is broken? What do you say? What do you say when words won’t fit the moment? I don’t know about yall but I have felt at times broken. I have felt broken because someone let me down or hurt me. We all know that God is the great healer and he can put the pieces back together but so many times we want to fix it ourselves. SOme of that is cause God doesn’t work on our time but His and He does it His way not necessarily the way we want it fixed. We need to let go and let God. This is so hard and si something I am stuggling right now. I want to fix the things wrong in my life and in others. However sometimes I need to just let God handle it. I need to understand he knows all and sees the big picture. Well I just wanted to share what was on my mind!

God Bless, Christy

You may be here for such a time as this! March 23, 2009

So I have had so much on my mind. God is working on me. You know where it says that we will be baptized in fire. Well fire hurts and it gets rid of the things not sturdy. The grain. My prayer has been for that to happen to me. What a tough prayer. If you want to feel closer to God yet farther from others than that is the prayer for you. I have God has taken some of my relationships and strengthened them and others he has made them almost non-existent. I am learning so much with the whole Esther study. What is so weird is I can be such a Haman at times. No I am not trying to kill the Jews but I can get prideful and not mean to. I can become jealous and bitter. I do not like that. However I can relate with Esther so I do not feel as bad. I was doing my study the other day though and I wanted to share what I read. 

Here are some excerpts.

1. Through years and much personal embarrassment, I’ve come to understand a little bit more about why Christ calls us to die or to deny self and follow Him. It is not because humanity is such a titanic disappointment and summarily unworthy of His love on our own. Amid all the depravity of this world, man is still God’s prized creation and most valued treasure. Christ’s purpose in calling us to deny ourselves is that we’d deny our selfishness, ambition, pasts, or any damaged emotions the right to cheat us of His far higher plans for us.

2. We form mental strongholds toward those who won’t give us what we want or need. Sometimes they quit giving us something they once supplied and we want it back. Perhaps they broke the rules of our relationship. Very often our people snares are those who make us feel out of control with our emotions. They are the ones around whom we are most compelled to perfomr or, worse yet, make fools of ourselves. We see both of these subtle elements in Haman. The people who have become the biggest snares to us are the ones about whome we’re most prone to say, “I never act this way with anyone else!” -Yikes way too true!

3. God is putting our lives back together after a terrible betrayal. Ample time has passed and God has gifted us with a wonderful person. We can’t be happy with the terrific person who has accepted us, however, because we’re still fixated on the person who rejected us.

4. God is the only One who can tend to the secret places where pain calls to bondage. Would you let Him minister to you there and begin the healing process? Admitting we have an area of brokenness is a huge step toward wholeness. What would God’s kingdom gain from people who were only humiliated? What would the reward of our existence if we were only repentant and never repaired? Discontent with selfishness and weary of ego, we finally become willing to lose ourselves to something greater. In doing so, we find Christ as we’ve never known Him and, there, pooled in the reflection of His eyes, startle to discover that a part of ourselves resembles Him. 

As you can see God is working on me in my relationships area. Not as in dating but rather friendships. i love people and making new friends. It is not very often that I will not like you. I hate seeing people be left out to. That is just how I am. I love getting to know people and being there for them. I almost never push someone away for friendship so it hurts when it happens to me. At the same time I am starting to wonder if God is trying to protect me. Well that was what I was thinking but then We moved on to the next lesson and it talked about timing. 

1. We need to know when it’s time. Hosea 6:2 He will revive us up on the third day, that we may live before Him. 

2. We need to know when it’s time to wait. There is a time for everything even a time to speak. Sometimes we need to be silent even when man invites us to speak. 

3. We need to know when it’s time to wait for someone else’s time. 

4. We need to know when the meantime is God-time. Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

I do not know if it is time for me to be friends with these certain individuals. It may be my time but not theirs or maybe it is not God’s. 

Well that is what has been on my heart. Please keep me in your prayers.

God Bless, Christy

Overwhelmed! Salt? Light? March 11, 2009

Hello wonderful children of the Holy One! I am so blessed to finally find time to write to you all. God is working in my life and I am truly overwhelmed. I just had to stop and look up the definition for overwhelmed. We use it so often do we know what it means? Well in case this has now got you interested and wanting to know the answer it means to affect deeply in mind or emotionally. haha Wow so that is so true God has been affecting my mind and my emotions. I don’t know if yall know this but I have been very busy with work. I still try and make sure I have time with the Lord and take a hold of opportunities to go to church. Well he has spoken to me and tells me things that gets me thinking and then when I get the answer I become so emotionally. Yes usually I cry mostly tears of joy but sometimes tears of repentance. God is blessing me with some great friendships. I just wanted to write a good note to you all but something at the same time will overwhelm you. Trust me if you take part in this you will be blessed. Okay so I want to talk about Salt and Light. Okay, so many people tell me that they want to do God’s will and that they want to be the Salt and Light of the earth. Well do you know what it means? First of all what are some characteristics of salt? 

We can do this together!

1.It’s white. 

2. Enhances flavor.

3. Preserves.

I don’t know about yall but I believe he is hinting toward the enhancing of flavor. Why would he say this? Was Jesus just really hungry? Well let’s take a look at pure salt and what it does.

1. It NEVER looses it’s flavor. However when impurities come into the picture it can lose some of it’s flavor.

Hmmm so can we lose our flavor? I believe so. When impurities come into our lives we can lose that which makes us stand apart. We are no longer as strong or as different among the rest of the spices. Let’s stop right here for a second go into your cupboard and count how many different spices you have. 

How many did you have? I bet if you love to cook you had quite a few different kinds. Look at our world if the pure at heart christians are salt and all the other spices are the lost salt stands alone in that cupboard. It is outnumbered. SO many times it can feel like that to us and we can get caught up well it is just a little gossip here, a curse word there, and so many more and no longer are we the pure salt. 

Okay so what if we have lost some of our flavor what happens? Well again back to our spices if one of them no longer has flavor we just throw it out. Ouch! So God couldn’t possibly be saying that we would not be able to be used for the good of Him is he? That is for you to decide. But if it is that is truly an eye opener for some of us. (myself included)

Okay so I believe my audience is smart how would you say light would come into play? Let’s think dark world hmmm light is bright oh I get it we would light up the world. How do we do this? 

Did you ever think of this… We are not the light. Before I get nasty emails bare with me. We are not the light it is God in us that makes the light shine. God is the light. We so often say our world needs the light. Well they do not need us. We can not save them from Hell. God can He is the light and He can save them. We are to help people see His light in us. SO basically Jesu is the sun haha(son) and we are the moon we illuminate him. We use his light to shine. 

So if we want to do this how do we? Good question I’m glad you asked!

1. Let the light be visible. Be seen by the world. 

2. Glorify God and let people see it is not you or some happy pill that makes you this way it is the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Well I think I have got you thinking at least I hope so. Go out be the Salt and the radiate that Light. Thank you so much for being overwhelmed with me! 

God Bless, Christy