Hey guys. Wow i am going through such a hard time right now. I just feel alone. People are probably thinking but Christy you have tons of friends and people who care about you and hang out with you what are you talking about? Well I can’t exactly say i know. I can only explain it as a war in which there are more people on my side than against but the people on my side aren’t doing any fighting so I’m alone. I feel so depressed. I don’t know i have so many classes a day in which i don’t have time to relax. I am fighting with people who i don’t want to fight with. I am acting like a negative horrible person. I am not going to church i have dropped secret keepers and I’m not reading the word. Worship feels dry and doesn’t make me feel close to God at all. I am going to call this post Spiritual Suicide because i am killing my spiritual life and i know it. I am not saying i am proud of it but i am aware. I should be going up to Liberty on Thursday and i am hoping to get something. I was very freaked out last night. Stevie and i rented a movie. We rented Mothman Prophecies. It started off good and ended good but in the middle i felt a demonic presence. Fear ran through my body like crazy. I had to turn on the lights i was crying. I don’t get scared easily but this really freaked me out. Hollywood really does work for some Crazy people and has it’s ties with the wrong forces.I really don’t want to live here anymore. I want to move in with the Koppolas. I had a bad week this week. I got in a fight with Jake and i really don’t like that. The people i care about i feel i am loosing. Koppola cried on the phone with me and we read Psalm 23 out loud and prayed over it. I am just really suffering. I still think Jake hates me. I don’t know i just hate loosing people i actually care about. I put on a face daily of being happy. You can usually tell when i am faking it because i act very immature and hyper. Basically annoying. I have been doing this for weeks. I am blowing up at random times. I just don’t know. All i know is I need prayer. Please pray for me. Thanks! God Bless,Christy
Ps: Check out this video my friend and i made. <object width=”425″ height=”355″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/ND2Da4ACRxo&rel=1″></param><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/ND2Da4ACRxo&rel=1” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”425″ height=”355″></embed></object>
